A Momma's Boy He Is

Well, here I am! I know that you have missed me, and I have missed you too! I have been reading, but not writing lately. I have been formulating blog posts in my head, but not taking the time to put them down. Anyhow, I am now.

Coley is a Momma's boy. I have always heard about the special relationship between mothers and sons. And I believe it now! I am sure that my working at the preschool has much to do with it. The fact that I am in there with him all the time (when he cries or eats, or when he won't sleep, or when I want to see him) probably also contributes to it. I often carry him on my hip, making copies or delivering things to classrooms. Most of the kids know him (although some can't get his name quite right..."Cool" is what one little girl call him), and he is happy to be my helper. He is truly a joy, and seeing his little not-so-toothless smile (4 teeth now) makes me happy in ways I never knew.

But having a Momma's boy comes with some strings. I can't miss bedtime. He will not go to sleep with a bottle. He also will not (usually) calm down in the middle of the night for anyone but me. Dinners out (I have only had two, I think, since he was born) are often ended abruptly, with my having to return home to feed him and put him to bed. And I don't mind it all in the grand scheme of things - it was my choice to be a nursing mom. But there are times when a glass of wine and an adult dinner with my husband would be awfully nice.

And all of this makes my over-night trip to Oklahoma City this weekend a little more than nerve-wracking. I may come home to a sleep-deprived husband and a son who has not slept or eaten in 24 hours. It should be really fun!

My Little Dancer

So, I have officially watched my daughter in her first performance. The studio performed at my great aunt's assisted living home this weekend, and it was pretty darn precious. As you will see, Mia was a little disoriented at the beginning, and the cuteness of it brought tears to my eyes! I know that I watched the entire song with a goofy-looking grin on my face. She loves to watch it on video and sing along with herself. Ahh...it's only just begun...and I love it!

Both Sides of the Coin

So, I feel like I have had the unusual blessing of experiencing three different work/kid scenarios. First off, for two school years, I was a teacher and dance team director. So, that was a full-time (plus some) job. Mia was in preschool every school day. It was really hard. I missed her in a way that I didn't know I would. While I enjoyed teaching, I felt like a piece of me was sitting about 4.5 miles away and I did not know what that piece was doing. Sure, I called every day on my lunchbreak that first year (while simultaneously pumping and watching Days of our Lives...I know you are impressed). But it never felt good when I would leave her in the mornings. Since I was teaching, I had summers off, so I did not have to take her to preschool and I was able to wear the stay-at-home-mom hat. I could pretend, for about two and a half months, that play-dates and afternoon swims were possible. And while I loved every minute of the past two summers, I knew that we could not afford for me to not work. So, I now have a job where I take my kids with me. They spend time in their respective classes (Mia more-so than Cole...he ends up on my hip about half the day) and I spend time in the office or helping teachers or doing other administrative duties. I know what a gift this job has been. Because while it is frustrating in many ways, I have my babies with me. I can see what they are doing at any moment. Two pieces of me are not 4.5 miles away, they are about 25-50 feet away.

But I think that I have the perspective to understand both sides of motherhood. For working moms, it is hard. Really, really hard. Not being with them all day and leaving them in someone else's care is uncomfortable and disconcerting. What if one chokes? What if one gets so upset that he can't sleep, and only mommy can comfort him? The good side of working is how thrilled you are to see them afterwards. And, even if it is not always pleasant (remember, I taught 9th graders), work gives moms a break. All moms need a break. Sure, the house cleanliness may suffer, but the time you do have with your children is quality...in order to make up for the lack of quantity.

Staying home is also tough. There were days this summer, with a 2 year old and a newborn, that we didn't even make it out of the house. And Chris would come home, and all I would want to do was go anywhere...go get gas in the car in 105 degree heat...just to escape for 5 minutes. There are times that you become resentful of the fact that you can't get a shower or a nap or a meal. Kids are needy, and your one, sole job is to fulfill their needs. So, I get that staying at home is a job. It is not not working. And many of the parents at our preschool are stay-at-home moms who bring their kids a few days a week in order to get a much needed break.

And then there is the third option - working with the kids. It is, like I said, a complete gift. And I would not trade it for anything right now. But, I also realize that it does not allow me the chance to miss them. It is just a part of adjusting to a new lifestyle and a new normal. And we are getting there...but I sure could use a trip to the mall (with money to spend, of course) solo! :)

Thirty-five Things (You Never Cared to Know)

1. I have a paralyzing fear of arachnids. I can't even type the specific name.

2. I wanted DeAnna to choose Jason.

3. I can still kick my face. Did it recently, and was very sore the next day.

4. I don't like steak.

5. Although I had fun in high school and college, it was nothing compared to the joy in my life right now.

6. I procrastinate.

7. I like sugar and cream with a little bit of coffee in the mornings.

8. Aside from my family (and not all of my family), there are only 2 people with whom I can completely be myself.

9. I do not cuss.

10. I get angry at smokers.

11. I tip well...usually.

12. I am insecure around new people.

13. I love to shop for my kids.

14. I can sing the entire intro song to Max and Ruby.

15. I wanted Will to win, and Katee to be runner-up. So, Joshua was a disappointment to me.

16. I am obsessive about having my nails painted. Since Coley has come along, that often doesn't happen as much as I want it to, and it drives me nuts!

17. I love to read.

18. I judge people. And I know that I shouldn't, but I do.

19. I do not think I am good with kids in general. I do OK with mine, however.

20. I know that I should want to exercise, but I don't want to.

21. I like to be in charge. I am a self-proclaimed "Bossy Pants."

22. I would go to Starbucks everyday if I could.

23. I am pretty darn excited for Thursday - the prospect of a new Office and a new Grey's makes me smile.

24. I prefer to write in a calendar as opposed to using my phone's calendar.

25. My favorite food is Italian.

26. I have never liked my legs.

27. I can hardly remember my life six years ago.

28. Medication works too well on me (unrelated to the fact that I can hardly remember my life six years ago - I am talking about small-time stuff like Tylenol PM or cold medicine).

29. I believe that a kidney stone is more painful than labor (with an epideral, mind you).

30. I hate buying/wearing jeans.

31. I cry at almost every episode of Grey's Anatomy and ER. And at almost every novel I read.

32. I tend to over-commit.

33. I want to read the bible, but I am overwhelmed. (I hope my devotion book will help with that feeling.)

34. I don't know how anyone could not believe in God after experiencing the miracle of children.

35. I am happy - genuinely happy.

Ahhhh....

Well, it has been an absolutely insane couple of weeks. I started my new job, and as with all new jobs, there are good and bad things. The good things are that I work with some really wonderful people, I am close to my kids (in a very literal sense), and I am growing to love all the other preschool kids. The bad things...well, they are just going to take some time to work out.

In the course of my first two weeks of school, I have hired three teachers and fired (sort of) one of those three. She didn't show, so I take it she was quitting anyway. It was a blessing, believe me! I have helped more children use the bathroom that I have ever thought I would help. And I mean really help. I have rubbed backs and patted heads, in an attempt to help sleepy babies take their naps. I have answered a million calls and emails - most of which amount to nothing. And I have conducted a fire and tornado drill - a difficult feat with 40ish children under the age of 5.

But I have also peeked in on Mia while she is in class, playing and oblivious to my watching. I have hugged and kissed her many times - in fact, every time I see her in the hall or outside. I have fed Coley everyday. I have rocked him to sleep and sat on the floor playing with him. And those things make it more than worth it.

Some other recent happenings...
1 - Mia started dance class. I will post pictures soon. But she is really enjoying it and I am too. She is taking from my dance teacher, which is pretty neat.
2 - Cole is sitting up alone. He loves for me to turn his tub of toys sideways so he can just dig in.
3 - Cole is almost crawling. He gets on all fours and rocks back and forth.
4 - Mia is singing all the time. Some of her favorite songs are "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid and "Mama Mia" from the movie. She also sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" with a twist...
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily life is butter dream.
It makes me laugh every single time.

That's about all from us! I am so looking forward to the long weekend. Happy Labor Day!

My Boy

Coley is growing so fast that I can hardly stand it. He is so sweet and so happy...unless he is tired. But we are (finally) getting the hang of naptimes. Some of those naps are even in his bed! :) He is almost sitting up on his own and he desperately wants to crawl. He is getting pretty good at rolling wherever he wants to go.



Look at that belly! Seriously, he is a solid guy and getting so heavy. At six and a half months, he weighs almost as much as Mia weighed at one year.


And here's a classic paci face.

Napping in the swing with Cookie Monster. C00kie is dressed as a bunny - it was for Easter.

My two favorite guys, hanging out at Uncle Kenny's pool.

Nutty

So I am borrowing from zumthemum when I say that life is NUTTY these days! And in order to keep all my (3) readers happy, I want to let you know what's happening at the Posey home. :)

I am transitioning into my new job as a preschool Director. I think it will be wonderful once I get the hang of it all. Like any new job, it is overwhelming and stressful right now...especially since I need to hire three teachers by next week! But I am so excited about the year getting started and getting into our new normal.

With that, it is also so weird to not be going back to teaching. It was a little sad when I cleaned out my room. I will miss the kids and the other teachers. But this is a new opportunity, and I am completely embracing it!

This past weekend, our upstairs AC went out. Of course, it happened on Saturday afternoon. So, Saturday night was an adventure with Cole sleeping in the pack-n-play in the computer room, and Mia sleeping in bed with us. Coley did great, but Mia did not settle until almost midnight. Sunday night was worse. Cole woke up at 1 am, and would not go back to sleep. We had only been asleep for about an hour when he awakened, so 3 am brought all four Poseys in one bed. Yep - we slept like that until about 8 am. Thankfully, the AC was fixed on Monday and we resumed our regular sleeping locations. :)

And now, it is Wednesday night...a little bittersweet because it is the last Wednesday night of SYTYCD! And tomorrow is the finale! What am I going to do when it is over?!?!?! We do have tickets to the tour, but that is not until October. I am just so in love with that show!

So, I hope life settles a little bit. I am sure it will.