I never thought of myself as the stay-at-home-mom type. Before I had children, I just knew that I would still work full-time. But what I did not know was how hard that would be. I returned to work this week. Cole is almost 10 weeks old. And, although I truly do love my job and my students, I am having a really difficult time adjusting. I feel panicky, like I am missing huge milestones in his development. Because they change so fast, and I know that. Just two years ago, my full-sentence-speaking daughter was in Cole's position...a tiny baby. And I feel sick to my stomach.
I recently resigned from directing the girls. It needed to happen. They need someone who is more present - both physically and mentally. And I need time, because it is flying by way too fast.
So that leaves me wanting to be with them, but having to work. I must, then, find a job where I can have them with me. Interestingly enough, there is a possibility on the horizon. I told myself not to get too excited. I know the chances of my actually getting the job are probably slim. But now I am excited, and if it doesn't happen, I will be crushed. I just feel like I am supposed to be with them more. I feel like it is not just my selfish desire. All I can do is pray that it is God's will. I want it to be...I pray for it to be...and yet I don't know if it is.
3 comments:
I can feel your heart hurting. Hang in there. I know in my heart that God's will was for me to stay home with my girls, and I feel like HE's telling you the same thing with your 2. I'm praying for you and the job. Keep me posted.
Hey friend. I agree with Melissa. You are in my prayers. Keep us posted! I'll see you tonight.
Hi lady! I'm so excited for you. Gosh, big changes all around, huh?
I'm praying for you too, now!
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